Dah Who Doraze - Welcoming JOY in any Holiday Circumstance

I can’t remember where the scrap of wood came from…

As soon as I started typing those words, I remembered exactly where it originated. Somewhere towards the end of my marriage, in an attempt to love a life that had been difficult, I used scraps of wood to construct a sign that I hung in our home. I strung the pieces of wood together vertically and painted the names of all the streets we had lived on in our marriage. I actually hated the many moves but I was also grateful for all the memories made in each place. I wanted to celebrate our story, not resent it. The marriage got worse anyway and in the midst of the divorce I threw away the sign except for one piece of wood.

One Christmas, in the deep grief of not being with my children; in the disillusionment of wondering what had happened to my life, I repainted one of those pieces of wood with the line from The Grinch who Stole Christmas.

“Dah who Doraze” It’s what the Whos in Whoville sing on Christmas morning when everything tangible has been taken from them. They welcome Christmas without the ribbons and wrappings. The Grinch couldn’t stop Christmas from coming, it came.

As I drank my festive whiskey sour and listened to Christmas music alone, wrapping gifts and baking for a later celebration, I realized that I could feel the JOY of Christmas even in despair, confusion and loneliness. I could welcome Christmas under any circumstances. I’ve put that sign out every Christmas season since - a reminder that I don’t need it all to be perfect to experience JOY.

If your holiday plans are disappointing or painful this year, I get it. You are not alone. Take heart. As big and real as it feels, truth is, it’s only a date on the calendar. We make it mean more by what we THINK about it. And those THOUGHTS (expectations) make us FEEL bad.

How you FEEL is because of what you’re making it mean in your THOUGHTS. And guess what? Those thoughts are optional. We get to choose what we focus on - what we allow our brain to THINK. I’m not saying it’s easy to change our thoughts. We are wired to believe everything we think. It takes awareness and practice to “take every thought captive” and renew our minds. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

I hope your Christmas is everything you want it to be - the people, the food, the trimmings and the trappings. It’s a time to celebrate and enjoy. If your holiday is happy, I’m rejoicing with you.

But if it is hard this year, please quiet the noise. Close down the comparison apps. Think creatively about how to nurture yourself. Focus on what you DO have and how the circumstances of this year’s holiday could actually be FOR you.

My grown kids are coming in shifts this year - a few before Christmas and a few after. The first visit just ended and I feel like we already had Christmas - lots of cooking, visiting, baking, movies, games, walks and gift-giving. It was wonderful. And now, this week of actual Christmas is quiet. I’m okay with it. I get to REST, THINK, RECOVER, DREAM about the new year, etc… I’ll go to church, see my parents, and allow Christmas to whisper its presence.

After all, the real meaning of Christmas is the quiet coming of the One who loves and redeems us. His coming did not require fanfare. What if a quiet Christmas is an invitation to peer into the manger like the shepherds long ago? Undistracted. Full of wonder. Known. Seen. Loved. What if the plans you didn’t choose are actually the ones you need?

Dah Who Doraze - Welcome Christmas!

AN INVITATION: Are you intrigued by the idea that your THOUGHTS create your FEELINGS? This is one of the lessons we learn through life coaching. As a coach, my role is to show you how your thoughts are creating your life experience. I have a few openings in the new year for women who want a coach to walk alongside them. Book a FREE call to see if coaching with me is a good fit for you.