Willingness to FEEL all that Life OffersOct 11, 2022
Whenever I notice myself not sleeping, scrolling through a LOT of Instagram or constantly trying to fill my mind with someone else’s ideas - through a show or a podcast, I can guess that I’m unwilling to FEEL something in my own life. Currently, that uncomfortable feeling that my brain and ego have decided “she must not feel” is loneliness, self-doubt, and fear. Nope, the ego does NOT want to acknowledge those feelings. But what I’m learning is that it’s my willingness to sit with those thoughts and feelings that will ultimately banish them and empower me to live the life I want. Gently allowing them and not panicking as if they are a huge threat is the path to wellness and strength.
People often marvel at my move across the country alone, in mid-life, with no friends or family here in Tennessee. How did I do it? I was and am willing to FEEL all the feelings that come with a big change.
Here are the steps I take to process unwanted emotion…
- Be willing to sit in the feelings - to FEEL them - without judgment of yourself or life that has allowed them. Life is 50/50. Nothing has gone wrong.
- Write them down - all of them. They aren’t as scary on paper.
- Be curious. Ask yourself, “What thoughts am I having that could be related to these feelings or even causing them?” Write down your thoughts - even the random ones. You might be shocked by the thoughts your mind has been running in the background. When we shine a light on these thoughts, we can often see WHY we are feeling negative feelings. They are often quite harsh and untrue, but until we uncover them, they run wild, a product of our human brain that thinks it’s protecting us. Your FEELINGS are created by the THOUGHTS you are having whether you are aware of them or not.
- Now you have the opportunity to change those negative thoughts - to deliberately create some ideas and thoughts that ARE true and that serve you better. Then look for all the evidence in your life to support them. Your feelings drive your actions and results in life. They really matter so it’s worth nurturing the good ones.
I moved 3 months ago and I’m still adjusting. I often DO feel lonely, overwhelmed and afraid. But the truth is, I would have had negative thoughts if I hadn’t moved too. That’s just life and I would have had to process those thoughts and feelings too. I moved across the country and made a BIG change but I can focus on my dreams instead of my fears. I have a bigger vision though of a better life that I’m creating here for myself and my children. It will take time and feeling all those feelings is part of the journey. Currently I am not always sleeping well, I DO scroll Instagram. I watch shows and listen to podcasts to distract myself from the feelings I don’t always want to acknowledge. I wake up in the morning and have to write down my feelings, then coach myself through creating some new thoughts, taking courage and optimism for a new day. And I still feel lonely, overwhelmed and afraid. But instead of letting my protective brain panic and reject those feelings, I remind myself that nothing has gone wrong. I can feel all those feelings and still have a good day, a good week, a good year and a good life.
Life coaching has given me these practices - the ones that allow me to go after the life I want. You don’t have to be moving across the country to benefit from coaching. There are plenty of thoughts and feelings to navigate in familiar places too. Relationships, work, or making a home all challenge us.
I’m opening up a few spots for one-to-one coaching - a weekly meeting via Zoom - in which I ask good questions and support you in whatever is going on in your life so you can solve, navigate or create what you want. Let’s chat about coaching to see if it’s a good fit for you. Set up a free 15 minute discovery call HERE. There’s no obligation to say yes - just find out more and bless me with your company!